Christian teaching regarding sex and sexuality is as straightforward to understand as it is often challenging to practice. Put simply, it requires all sexual activity to occur within a monogamous, lifelong, heterosexual marriage relationship. Sexually, anything beyond this comes of evil. This is not just a quirky, arbitrary religious rule about sex — although it is a rule for Christians and it does demand obedience. More than that, though, it is a sincere call for Christians to live a certain way as a public confession about God and the sanctity of human life.
To see this, let’s look at some basic principles. First principle: The unique purpose of sex is procreation, to bring human life into the world; and the sexual act should be understood first and foremost as an act uniquely designed by God for that purpose. Yes, it is enjoyable and builds intimacy, but those qualities are not its first and unique purpose. They are, rather, delightful fringe benefits. Its design and potential to create human life is what sets sexual activity apart from all other activities people do. For Christians, then, the sexual act is sacred because of what God designed it to do. Note that the act, because of its design, is sacred even when a particular couple cannot conceive, because of age, say, or some physical problem. Such couples hold the act sacred and honor God by joyfully engaging in it while remembering its purpose, even when that purpose cannot (absent a miracle) be realized.
Next principle: The unique purpose of marriage is to create an appropriate environment for that one sacred activity which alone is designed to create human life. This isn’t the only purpose of marriage, mind you, but its first and unique purpose. The design of and the potential for the sexual act to create human life is what makes marriage unlike any other relationship between people. That is what makes marriage sacred, even the marriage of a couple who cannot conceive. Thus, the sexual act is strictly limited to marriage, an institution designed by God around the procreation of new life; and thus marriage is between a man and a woman, the sexual union between such being the only union which can, and in fact is designed, to create new life.
From these basic principles flow the Christian sexual ethic which limits all sexual activity to the marriage relationship. And here’s a quaint and deeply religious term to denote that ethic: Chastity. Chastity means to limit all sexual activity to the marriage relationship. To practice chastity is not only to be personally obedient to God, but it is also to make a deeply religious and public confession about God and about the sanctity of human life.
Our culture long ago stopped believing in chastity, not even as a praiseworthy, if perhaps unattainable, ideal. It’s not just that our culture doesn’t follow the rules very well. It rejects the whole paradigm. It doesn’t believe in the sanctity of sex or marriage. Our culture instead sees sex as a natural act which human beings desire to do, and moreover which they generally need to do for psychological health. In our secular culture, sex isn’t a gift of God. In fact, there’s nothing religious about it at all. Sex is simply a need that individuals have and therefore have a right to do. To the secular mind, the potential to create life is not considered to be an essential feature of the sexual act – in fact it’s not even a desirable feature, except in those occasional instances when a woman wants to have a baby. Sex is what healthy people do, and there’s nothing more to it than that — only be careful to use protection (unless you actually want a baby), and practice safe sex (unless you don’t care if you contract an STD). The result of this thinking is a brand new sexual ethic to replace chastity: Let’s call it Desire and Consent. Meaning, when it comes to sex, anything is permissible between two consenting adults. So have fun and be safe! And that’s pretty much it.
“Chastity”, or “Desire and Consent”. There is no harmonizing these two ethics. For the Christian, sex is not about psychological health or orientation or identity, it’s not about fairness or liberty or self-expression. In short, if you’re a Christian sex is not about you. It’s not a purely private matter. Sex belongs to God and serves his purposes, and how His people conduct themselves sexually is an important and highly visible part of a Christian’s witness about God to the world He created.
And yes, one’s attitude toward sex is a highly visible thing. It’s never been a purely private matter, and especially not now. What I mean is this: Once upon a time it was assumed that married people lived together and engaged in sex and that unmarried people did not. That’s why it was wonderful when married people had children and scandalous when unmarried people did. That’s why unmarried men and women didn’t live together. One’s sexual ethics have never been a purely private matter.
What is new though is that attitudes regarding sex have become highly politicized. What kind of sexual relationships a person engages in or approves (or doesn’t approve) is politically very important these days. Signaling broad acceptance of non-traditional sexual lifestyles makes a person seem tolerant, open-minded, sophisticated and reasonable, while indicating disapproval of the lifestyle choices of others is just inexcusable and likely to earn one the label of bigot. That’s because to the secular mind, the Christian sexual ethic of chastity is unjust, unfair, unnatural, unworkable, extreme, intolerant, backward – and sexist and patriarchal to boot – and no reasonable person could think otherwise.
That said, Christians shouldn’t go out of their way to condemn unchaste behavior in others – but we must be careful not to condone it either, as we are being pressured to do, under the rules of political correctness. But if the world demands an answer from us, demands to know what we think about pre-marital sex, casual consensual sex, living together without marriage, no-fault divorce, single parent homes verses two-parent homes, homosexuality, homosexual marriage, drag queens, transsexuals, LGBTQ pride – if they demand to know, then we must give it to them unvarnished. We must make that good confession, even though it may come at a cost. “Jesus is Lord. I approve chastity alone. Here I stand; I can do no other!”
But far more powerful than what we Christians say is what we do. Therefore, it should go without saying (but sadly, it cannot) that Christians should never engage in such things, engage in sex outside of marriage, no matter how consensual, and no matter how much the parties love each other. Likewise unmarried Christians should never live with someone as though married—even if engaged to be married and even if the marriage is already on the calendar and even if the wedding day is tomorrow!
Let me be clear: a person professing to be a Christian but who engages in or approves unchaste behaviors is not making a Christian witness or confessing allegiance to the Christian God. They are embracing the views of the world, pure and simple. And that’s bad enough, but to make matters even worse, they are doing so publically.
That’s a strong statement, and many people, who sincerely believe they are Christians, will object to it. They will say, “But isn’t it the case that Christians do do these things, and always have, and worse? There have always been children born out of wedlock, or children conceived before the wedding date. And what about divorce? Isn’t that even worse than consensual sex between unmarried people? And whether we want to admit it or not, there has always been homosexuality, even in the Church, and we’re not going to stop it by driving it underground. People are going to do what people want to do, and trying to force chastity on them will not make them any purer.” How do we answer these things?
First, the Christian sexual ethic of chastity is for Christians. Although I might commend it to unbelievers – the world would be a better place if all people practiced it – I am under no illusion that it will sell there. But this is for Christians, and if you don’t want to be a Christian, you don’t have to be. But if you do, you are called to chastity. Second, this isn’t a matter of forcing morality on people to make them purer. Purity comes to a believer by faith, not by good behavior. God considers those with faith in Christ to be pure, regardless of their lifestyle. But He expects of those whom He has purified by faith, whatever their lifestyle may have been before, to start practicing chastity. Third, of course Christians have always violated the chastity ethic! Christians are sinners! So yes, Christians have engaged in extra-marital sex. Yes, babies have been born out of wedlock. Yes, Christians have engaged in homosexual acts, too. And more. Christians have divorced, have committed adultery, and have often done what they wanted to do sexually rather than what their allegiance to Christ required of them. And much to their harm and much to their shame! So what is the answer? Get rid of the rules that Christians keep breaking? Breaking rules is one thing; casting them aside is quite another – and encouraging others to do likewise is even worse. Christians do not approve what God has forbidden. Rather, Christians try not to sin, try hard not to sin, and repent when they do sin.
To sum it up, then: Our culture laughs at the concept of chastity. “How quaint!” Unfortunately, a good many Christians have bought that line too, to their own harm, and to the harm of the Church. But here’s the truth: Believers in Christ must accept chastity for themselves. It’s the Christian sexual ethic. It’s a rule to be obeyed, true, but it’s more than that. It’s a powerful and public witness, also. Especially in our highly sexualized world the approval and the practice of chastity will set apart believers from unbelievers, will uphold the sanctity of life, and will confess that Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the Father.
James D. Burns
Pastor, First Lutheran Church (LC-MS)
Benton, Arkansas
First Lutheran Church (Missouri Synod) 
No truer words!
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